Why does the really dumb person tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So they wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Why did the really dumb person get so excited after he finished his jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said for 2-4 years.

A really dumb person ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
And the really dumb person answered..."Six, please.I could never eat twelve pieces".

How does a really dumb person kill a fish?
They drown it.

Why do a really dumb people stand in front of a window during a thunderstorm?
They love taking pictures. (Flashes)

Why did a really dumb person keep ice cubes in the freezer?
So they could keep the refrigerator cold.

How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a really dumb person?
There is a stamp on it.

Who is bigger, Mr.Bigger or his baby?
The baby is a Little Bigger.

She is the ugliest girl I ever saw.
Dear, you forgot yourself.

When is your birthday? I want to buy you a present.
You're way late.I was born many years ago.

Why do you park your car here?
The sign says : Fine For Parking!

You mustn't pull the cat's tail!
I'm only holding it.The cat is pulling!

Why did you hit your wife with a chair?
Because I couldn't lift the table.

You must not fight.You must love your enemy.
But he's not my enemy.He's my brother!

What a hospital!Three o'clock in the morning they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

Never lose your head in a battle.You won't have a place to put your helmet.

The oldest joke I know is, when Eve asked Adam : "Do you love me?" and he replied : "Who else?"

Can you read chinese?
Only when it's printed in english.

Today I wrote three letters to my friend :
A, B and C

Do you know which word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Post Office.

Does this letter belong to you? The name is obliterated.
Can't be.My name is John.

Please call me a taxi.
Okay, you're a taxi, but you look more like a truck to me.

Your beard is on fire!!
I know.Can't you see I'm praying for the rain?

I gotta 'A' in spelling.
You Dupe!There is no 'A' in spelling.

Honey, the doctor is here!
Tell him I can't see him, I'm sick

Sir, your car is smoking!
What brand?

I heard you took an aptitude test.
That's right, and they found out I'm best suited for retirement.

My wife wanted a foreign convertible, so I bought her a rickshaw

Is your car in good condition?
Sure, everything makes noise except the horn

Who was driving when the car hit the pole?
Nobody, officer.We were all in the back seat.

Be careful how you drive.You almost went of the road.
I thought you were driving.

Why is your little brother crying?
He just came down the stairs without walking.

He is crazy about electricity.Should we call him an electric fan?

I think golf is rich man's game.
Nonsense! Look at all the poor players.

How come you have such a long beard?
My brother left town ten years ago with my razor.

May I hold your hand?
No, thanks.It isn't heavy.

Say the word that will make me happy the rest of my life.
Get lost!!

Room Service? Can you send up a towel?
Please wait a minute, someone is using it.

It is better to kiss a Miss than to miss a kiss.

Is there a word in the English language that contains all vowels?
Unquestionably.

Have you ever had a great laugh?
Yes, the first time I saw you.

Why did you break your engagement.
Because we wanted to get married.

If we become engaged, will you give a ring?
Sure, what's your phone number?

You're wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger.
I know.I married the wrong man.

Did you go to Lothar's party?
No, the invitation said from four to nine, and I'm ten.

As lighting flashes across the window, little bobbie said :
Smile everybody, God is taking our picture!

Now, class, are there any questions?
Yes, where do those words go when you rub them off with the blackboard?

Skiing is a wonderful sport.I spent one day skiing and six days in the hospital.

Why does every football striker is like a matchstick?
Because they always strikes from the edge of the box.

Why did the football manager gives his team a lighter?
Because they kept losing their matches.

If your clock strikes thirteen, what time is it?
Time to get a new clock.

What did the baby ghost say when he wanted his favourite food?
I Scream!